TwoFaced
by Dusty12
Summary: Fear, rejection, anxiety, and pain. None of them are good feelings, and some people come to experience them far too often. Jessica is no exception; her life will be filled with more of these than anyone she knows.
1. Temptation

The purple feline gripped the marble countertop of the stove tightly, her tears falling and splashing against the stark-white surface. Her entire body was shivering and she was completely naked, the shower from which she was going to use still running. She looked up into the mirror, but the tear stained face that looked back wasn't hers. It couldn't be hers… this wasn't her… Suddenly, she swept her arm along the counter and everything that fell made a horrible racket as it hit the floor. "What is wrong with me?" She shouted at the reflection, quite convinced this couldn't be her. Distraught and no longer able to hold herself up, Jessica sank into a ball on the floor, crying quietly. "What's wrong with me…"

* * *

Earlier that same day, Jessica's eyelids fluttered open to the dim light of a rainy April morning, forcing herself to rise from her messy bed and stretch. After her routine early morning toilet break, she began rummaging through her drawers to find an outfit for school. Today would be a half a day due to a faculty meeting, so Jessica was not happy at all about going. Nevertheless, when all girly outfits had been tossed into a pile on the floor, she dressed a pair of jeans and a blouse. A quick check in the mirror made her unhappy, but that was beyond her ability to reconcile it. She begrudgingly grabbed her backpack and dragged herself from her room downstairs to where her parents were already eating breakfast.

"Good morning, sweetheart!" Her mother called from the stove. Her father looked over his paper only to puff on his pipe and silently acknowledge his daughter's presence. Like every morning, Jessica's place at the table was already set and a bowl of cereal was awaiting her. She took her seat and spooned at the breakfast and spooned some into her mouth.

"I am happy with how you've dressed." Her father spoke, not tearing his attention away from the newspaper. "This is how a proper Christian girl is to present herself. Well done."

"Thank you, father…" Jessica chipped in, not tearing her eyes away from the milky white liquid before her.

Her father chuckled quietly and flipped a page in his newspaper. "Did you say your morning prayers today, Jess?"

"Yes." She lied.

"God punishes severely for lying to your parents, Jessica." Her father said, a hint of malice in his voice. "I will not have you make a fool of our family in His presence."

"I am not lying to you, father." She retorted, finishing off her cereal as fast as she could. He stared at her over his newspaper before frowning lightly and returning to the sports section. She grumbled under her breath and handed her dishes to her mother who wished her a good day. With that, she bolted toward her home's front door only to bump into the shorter figure of Rachel, who was eagerly waiting for Jessica.

"Hey girl!" Rachel said, smiling at Jessica. "In a rush to get away from the crazies, aintcha?"

"Hah, like you wouldn't believe." She responded, laughing. "They're horrible."

"Mmm." Rachel mumbled, staring at Jessica's house. "Well anyway, we'd better get to school before we're late again. Mr. Hanar will have a stroke if we're late three times in a row."

Jessica nodded lightly and the two girls set off towards Roseville High, giggling the entire way. Jessica enjoyed walking to school with Rachel, but today was different. Hidden in her laughs and smiles were anxiousness and fear of rejection. You see, Rachel and Jessica had been friends with benefits for awhile, and while Rachel remained far more interested in boys, her friend on the other hand had in effect fallen for the canine. This was tearing her up inside, and would prove to be the trigger to a cataclysmic revelation that would shatter the poor girl's life for a few years.

However, Jessica at the current time was far more interested in Rachel. The dog would talk and talk, and Jessica would listen but she would steal glances at her bust - how the soft mounds of white fur would bounce and jiggle around as she walked. Not only that, but Rachel had quite the bubble butt and like her breasts it too would jiggle slightly as she walked. Jessica thanked God every day that Rachel's wardrobe consisted of such tight and revealing clothing. Rachel's words seem to drown out as Jessica imagined herself sliding her fingers into Rachel's womanhood and licking the sweet liquid that would flow forth.

"Sweetie, my face is up here." Rachel said after noticing Jessica staring at her rear. "You can get a good look at that later today."

Jessica blushed and smiled. "I'll be looking forward to it. Can't get enough of it."

The two girls laughed as they turned onto one of the commercial streets near the high school. There were a lot of grocery stores and hardware stores nearby, but a new clothes store recently opened nearby and this was evidenced by the crowd of people outside the newly refurbished building. As the girls passed, Rachel suggested they check it out and Jessica didn't object. The building used to be a pet store but went out of business a few years ago. Then, a new clothes store chain bought the building and spent a few years fixing it up and finally shipped in their new clothing. Seeing the pet store totally transformed like such had an impact on Jessica. It had been there for a long time and it was from where she got her first gerbil. Regardless, the two women peeked into one of the windows to take a look at the wondrous selection of clothing inside. However, it appeared to only be a men's store. Rachel stuck out her tongue and motioned for Jessica to follow, but the purple cat was plastered to the glass, her eyes wide and wanting.

"Wow, Rach… look at how cool those suits are…"

Rachel eyed Jessica for a few moments before smiling widely. "Oh, you've got a boyfriend you ain't telling' me about? Babe, you don't have to shop for him!"

"Er, yeah…" Jessica said as it dawned on her what she was doing. "Just, uh, lookin' for a present for my dad…"

Rachel's smile widened even further. "Don't lie to me, girl. Your dad's birthday isn't for two more months." As Jessica opened her mouth to speak, Rachel clamped her hand over it. "And don't tell me you're shopping early. I know a lie when I see one, hon."

"Look, I'm just shopping for my dad, okay?" Jessica spat, tearing Rachel's hand off her mouth and starting back down the sidewalk. Rachel looked at her friend in shock for a few moments before running to catch up with her.

"Jeez, calm down. I'm sorry."

"It's fine, Rach…" She whispered, suddenly embracing the girl and holding her tight. While Rachel was still caught off guard, Jessica held her tighter. "I'm sorry I got upset at you."

Not knowing how to react, Rachel patted Jessica's back and smiled. "Don't worry about it, Jess. We've been getting a lot of work and I bet you're as stressed as I am, right? I mean, God, I almost got a pimple the other day! Ugh, can you imagine…?"

Jessica released Rachel from her grasp and smiled down at the canine who was still eagerly talking about her pimple and felt her heart flutter. There was no denying it, she did love Rachel, and she was happy about it. Then, it dawned on her. She loved Rachel, but her parents would have nothing of it. She heard them talking about homosexuals so many times when it was featured on the news and how much distaste they had for them. A small frown crossed Jessica's face, but then Rachel wrapped her arm around Jessica and beamed reassuringly at her.

"Aw, come on Jess, don't look so worried! I told you I got rid of the pimple."

The purple feline smiled at her and they turned onto the street where the school was. As the two finally reached the school, Jessica looked back over her shoulder towards the men's store, and back down to her current outfit. Something just didn't feel right, but she wasn't sure what… Regardless, Rachel grabbed Jessica's hand and pulled her towards the front doors of the school. The bell had rung and time was running out, not only for Jessica's school day, but also for her future.


	2. Action

"Man, can you believe the nerve of that kid?" Rachel spat, slamming the door to her locker shut. "Calling me a whore? What an asshole!"

Jessica patted Rachel's back with a concerned look on her face. "Don't let him get you upset, Rach. He's just trying to get under your skin."

The canine sighed angrily before allowing Jessica to hug her. "Ugh… I've just got so much shit going on I feel like the world's on my shoulders."

"I know what you mean." Jessica said, brushing her hand against Rachel's face. Just then, the school bell rang and the two girls headed off down the hallway for the lunch period. As they weaved in and out of students, Jessica's brain was in the utmost turmoil. She wanted to tell Rachel her feelings before the day was over, but how would she go about doing it? Would Rachel really accept her? Rachel told her when they started they'd just be friends with benefits, but did she share the same feelings? Nevertheless, her thoughts were broken as the two girls walked into the lunchroom where the din made it quite impossible to think straight.

"Oooh! Today's Meatball Monday." Rachel squealed, licking her lips.

"You think they put real meat in those meatballs?" Jessica joked as the two grabbed the usual plastic green trays.

"Oh, stop it, you." Rachel giggled, swatting Jessica playfully.

Indeed, the meatballs looked like they were constructed more of sewer sludge than meat. The two girls walked away with their share of noodles and dark grey balls of God only knows. Rachel jogged out ahead to take a seat at their usual table and Jessica sat down next to her with their usual clique of girls. Agatha, Charlene, and Vivian. Viv and Cherry were already busy discussing something while Agatha was busy staring at her reflection in her compact mirror, applying lipstick to her worn lips - kissing too many boys had messed up the vivacity of her lipstick.

"Hey girls." Rachel shot in, prompting greetings from the three other girls. Jessica mumbled her own greeting, but she was far too busy playing with her meatballs and thinking about how to talk to Rachel. Agatha chuckled and closed her compact mirror and let out a loud whistle. In an instant, a Freshman boy appeared with a refuse bin in hand and she tossed her eaten food in and winked at him, causing him to shiver. He bolted away shortly thereafter and Agatha folded her hands on the table with a smug grin on her face.

"So, girls." She said in her slight French accent. "Did you 'ear about Richard? He broke up with Cindy! He's free, ladies." She leaned in forward and prompted the rest of the girls to do the same. "I think I'm going to make a move on him."

"Yeah, I heard he think's your pretty cute." Cherry stated, brushing her hair to the side of her head. "Man, girl, if you get with that stud you need to tell us how it was and how big he is!" She says with a small smirk and a wanting expression on her face.

"If?" Agatha asked, staring at Cherry with a bewildered look on her face. "Oh, mon cher, you underestimate my abilities. American men always 'ave a thing for foreigners." She leaned back in her chair and motioned for the girls to look at her body, something Jessica did all too eagerly. "And 'ow can 'e resist these plump French breasts? Non, he won't. He is in the bag."

The entire table erupted into laughter, save Jessica, and Agatha wiped a tear from her face. "Aah, this is truly a great country. But I speak too much of myself. What men 'ave you ladies got your eyes on?"

Rachel smiled widely at Agatha and tapped a finger on the table. "Well, you know, that sophomore David is pretty cute… I hear it's as big as an arm…!"

"You think you can take that, girl?" Vivian asked, completely shocked.

"Babe, I'll take whatever he gives me." Rachel joked, causing the table to erupt into laughter. "What about you, Cherry? Anyone in particular?" The canine asked, resting her head on her hand to watch the tabby with great anticipation.

"Well…" She muttered, adjusting her glasses. "That one korat in David's class is pretty cute… Mike is his name?"

"Mike?" Rachel asked, frowning lightly. "Meh… not my type. What about you, Jess? Who were you looking at those suits for?"

"Jessica? Oh, please, Rachel! Don't tell me you don't know!" Agatha interrupted, cackling. "Jessica isn't looking for men, she was probably looking at those disgusting suits for herself." A confused look crossed Rachel's face while Jessica blushed, and the other girls erupted into laughter. "So you don't know!" Agatha said. "Oh, this is rich. Jessica isn't into men, sweetie. She likes the other side of the coin."

"Oh, that's not so bad." Rachel interjected, patting Jessica's back. "Well, any girl you're into, Jess?"

Again, the entire table erupted into laughter and Agatha seemed like she was going to choke. "Oh, you certainly are rather lightheaded, aren't you? She likes you, Rachel! She likes you!"

"What…? Jessica…" Rachel said, staring at her friend with a concerned expression.

"Well, uh..." Jessica stutered, unable to formulate a response. "I, uh..."

"Jessica..." The canine repeated. "You can tell me anything. Come on."

"Yes. It's true..." Jessica blurted out, figuring it was now or never. "I, uh... really do like you, Rachel... a lot..."

Rachel was stunned for a few moments before a sympathetic frown crossed her face. "I… uh, I'm sorry, Jess… I just don't like girls the way you do. I mean, I'd date you if you were a man, but… I just don't feel the same way. I'm sorry, Jess."

"Oh, this is rich!" Agatha shrieked, holding her sides and struggling to breathe. That was the final straw for Jessica. She was blushing heavily and a low growl was emanating from inside of her throat. As the girls continued to guffaw, Jessica stood up from the table and threw her spaghetti onto Agatha's face, covering the girl in meatballs and marina sauce. Agatha gasped loudly and screamed as Jessica stormed past her and out of the cafeteria into the girls bathroom, where she locked herself into a stall. After a few minutes of staring at the door, Jessica erupted into tears.

"I… I knew it…" She whispered, burying her face into her hands. "She… She doesn't love me…"

As Jessica continued to sob into her hands, Rachel's words floated around in her head. "I'd date you if you were a man… if you were a man… if you…" Just then, it seemed like the final piece of the puzzle had fallen into place. All the years Jessica had felt uncomfortable looking at herself naked, how she hated her cleavage and tried to hide it, her interest in girls… it suddenly all made sense. What if she did want to be a man? However, Jessica was irrational and not thinking straight, and quickly dismissed it as emotional babble. Just then, the school bell rang signaling the end of the half a day. Jessica quickly ran from the school building, not stopping by her locker or looking for Rachel. She needed to run, to get away, to hide herself. She tore around the corner and ran into the first store she could find. The smell of expensive cloth entered her nose and she opened her eyes to find herself back in that store for men.

It was almost heaven. The handsome pin-stripe suits and ties lined the walls, coupled with shined shoes and cologne. It awakened a part inside Jessica she'd never felt before and without much thought she decided to peruse the section of suits before her. When she ran her hand over them she couldn't help but smile; they felt so good! Without much thought, she scooped up a few items and ran towards a dressing room, scaring an aide nearby. She had picked out a fairly handsome outfit; it was a navy blue suit with a stark-white dress shirt and matching tie, with jeweled cuff-links and shined shoes. The smell was so intoxicating Jessica thought she would faint. She'd never tried on boy's clothes before, but her mother often told her stories of her childhood when she would play with boy's toys and wear caps. Her father had none of that and threw them all away, effectively 'feminizing' her room. Regardless, after a few minutes of struggling, Jessica managed to slip into the masculine suit and took a good look at herself in the mirror. For the first time in a long time, she smiled and actually liked how she looked. She decided on an impulse she'd buy said suit, but the moment she changed and carried the outfit back out, she bumped into the chest of an aide, who was staring angrily down at her.

"Ma'am. You do know this is a store for men, don't you?" He asked, not moving.

"Well, I, uh… yeah…" She replied meekly, scared by the large canine. He snarled at her and took the clothes from her hands, next ushering her towards the door.

"We don't serve your fetishist kind here, miss. I am going to have to ask you to leave lest I be forced to call security."

Before she knew it, Jessica was thrust out the door and it shut behind her. Angry, Jessica flipped the man the bird through the window and set off towards home. She walked in her front door exactly thirty minutes late and her father was already waiting for her. She frowned and turned her head away from him, knowing what would happen next.

"Why are you late coming home, Jessica?" He asked, crossing his arms. "And why is your blouse all dirty and scratched? What were you doing?"

"I got into a fight…" She said, it being the first thing that came to her mind.

Her father frowned and shook his head. "May I ask what this fight was about?"

"…A boy."

"Jessica, I am ashamed. After all I've taught you, after I've struggled to bring you up right, you do this? I am ashamed of you. I want you to go up to your room and pray until I come and fetch you for a talk. Is this understood?"

"Yes, father…"

"Sometimes I wonder what we're going to do with you, Jessica. You're nothing but trouble at times. You're dismissed."

Tears rolled down Jessica's cheeks as she walked up the stairs. She looked over her shoulder to see her father with his face in his hands and her mother comforting him. Quickly, she bolted upstairs to her room, past her parent's room. But as she walked past, she noticed it was one of the rare times where their door was open. She peeked into the room to find a suit laid freshly out on the bed. It was her father's work suit. She wiped away a few tears from her eyes and stepped into the room, shutting the door behind her and letting her eyes fall on the suit. She needed a little cheering up…


End file.
